I can say.... without weirdness or embitterment.... that my parent's favorite person to talk to is my niece Lola.
My niece Lola is four years-old.
Like every proud and doting grandparents, they think everything she does and says is precious and profound.
(I know I'm toeing the water on a Louis CK routine.... so, I'll say... check out as much of his on-line stuff as you can....
.... then rent "Shameless" and "Chewed Up". Louis CK is the best and most prolific working comedian, I know of right now...... maybe, Patton Oswalt.)
Anyhoo, I watch my parents listen to this four year-old child as if she's a tiny little Buddha.
They make out like everything that comes out of this kid's face is a carefully considered and crafted haiku.
Like it's the distillation of all knowledge into a single sentence.
When really, it's just some bullshit statement. Some nonsense words strung together about mailboxes, or something.
Also... not to nitpick.... but, she doesn't even pronounce words properly or have any sense of timing. She's just not a good storyteller. She's not funny or wise.
She is a four year-old kid.
And yet, my parents hang on her words... they relate them to their friends over dinner.... they put them in e-mails that travel over oceans, relaying how their four year-old granddaughter, said; "It's okay, if old people don't wanna climb trees."
What does that even mean?!
Nothing.
And... if I do laugh at that... I'm laughing at her.. not with her.
In contrast..... my dad doesn't listen to the end of my phone messages... if he listens at all.
He won't read a long e-mail. In fact, he resents it.... like someone snuck a 'trojan horse' virus into his computer box to steal minutes of his life.
His time is precious..... like it's precious for all of us.
But... the thing is.... some things cannot, and should not, be distilled down to 140 characters or less.
Not everything can be made into a fuckin' haiku! It just can't.
I'm getting feedback (people don't seem to wanna post comments but, instead send an e-mail. Which is cool, I think. More personal, for sure.)... and people seem to be saying... could you distill the essence of your blog.... your show.... your idea.... into one or two sentences.
That's entertainment pitch 101 right there. It's this meets this.
That's something I know well...; "It's like 'True Blood' meets 'bitchy, teen high-school show'. It's about a teenage vampire with tourette's. It's called 'Suck You!'"
"Well.... you did go on a little long. I glanced at the clock about ten characters into your sentence but... on the other hand, you had me at bitchy teen. Sold! Let's make this thing!"
Okay.... I do understand the value in being pithy and brief..... but, I also believe true value comes in exploring something, and getting into all the 'stuff'.... the meat and the bones and the nuance... all of which comes in excess of those 140 characters.
Now.... that's not to slag twitter. But, you could be the best twitterer in the world. The biggest and most accomplished twat in all the land.
There's just stuff you're not gonna be able to explore. And, places you won't be able to go.
(For example.... you can't do this...
or this...
or this....
.... one second. Just wiping tears of laughter. Seen it more times than my reflection... still hurts my body with the convulsions of laughter.)
Now, if you don't want the work of reading the whole story or the long form argument.... that's cool. Be unengaged.... see if I care. ;)
But, I promise you.... for every budding Lao Tzu on twitter out there. There's a whole lot of twats talking about 'seniors climbing trees', or some such idiocy.
Lola's excuse is she's fuckin' four! (And, obviously, not very bright or worldly.)
What's yours, ladiesman202?
No comments:
Post a Comment